I am a spiritual person.
I still don't know what that means.
But, it was upon entering motherhood that I was hit with the harsh realization that life is pretty dark and empty, lonely and hard, when you don't have some form of spiritual practice.
I have a pretty common young-adult spiritual journey story, one where I grew up with religion that did not fully light up my spiritual self-care cup, so I kinda revolted... created walls inside. I was able to cope until I became a mama.
Then, life got harder.
I experienced A LOT of emotions and I had no f*cking clue how to handle them.
I had never learned that skill...
Or at least, the coping strategies I had developed through my life experience hadn't prepared me for that level of feelings yet.
Then, I hit the bottom.
I surrendered.
It was then I finally admitted to myself that I am a spiritual person and I had to figure out how to satisfy myself spiritually.
"Spirituality" lights me up.
It makes me feel tingly.
It makes me cry healing tears.
It makes me see the beauty in the world.
It makes me love stronger and deeper.
And I really struggle with giving all that power away to some "guy in the sky".
I am selfish, I guess.
I pass no judgement if you don't have the same struggle as me. 🫶🏻
Spirituality is individual.
It's up to each mama to decide how she wants to express it.
We just need to have a way.
The teacher in me wants to add a tool to your tool box, if you need it.
If your spiritual cup is full... Praise be! 🤍
...
Yesterday, one of our barn cats got hit by a car in front of our home.
I am grateful that my children were at school and did not see anything, but I knew that I had an emotional night ahead of me.
A conversation about loss.
A fresh heartbreak.
I am grateful that my boys have not experienced much loss in their life yet, so I knew this one was going to sting.
Before I had "spirituality," I think this kind of conversation might have crumpled me. I would have been feeling so many confusing emotions inside my own body that I wouldn't have been able to also hold my boys' emotions!
Now, I use spiritual self-care to make space in mySELF to hold a safe + sacred space for my children when they need it.
To prepare for the deep emotions I was going to hold in the evening, I took 5 minutes
(yes - only 5 minutes! I am a mama of littles - we don't got any longer than that!!) to connect in with myself spiritually.
My 5-minute spiritual self-care session looked like this:
I went to my spiritual space in my house - my basement studio that is all girlie AF and all mine! 💕
I sprayed myself and my space with my Alignment smokeless smudge spray to cleanse my energy and enter 'the session' mindfully, leaving behind whatever happened minutes before
I knelt down on my knees
I brought my hands to heart center 🙏🏻 and drew in 3 deep breaths, imagining a light between my palms spreading to my heart, getting brighter with each breath
I called upon Mother Mary because I knew I needed to be filled with a large amount of mother energy to help support my boys
And then I had a little chat with her in my mind, in my heart... I asked her to help me be the BEST mother possible for my boys as they experienced a serious amount of emotion, I asked for her guidance, her support
Once I felt satisfied that she had heard my prayers (and I had to run to school pick up) I said "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. And so it is." to close my space
And you know what?
I handled that emotional conversation last night like a badass mama. 💪🏻
I am going to toot my horn!
Because I showed up intentionally in my life and I was rewarded beautifully.
What a beautiful honor it is to be able to help our tiny humans process their feelings safely and fully.
...
If you made this far, thank you.
I have more gratitude for you than you know. ✨
I love talking spirituality with other mamas. Like, a lot.
If you have a story, if you're on your own spiritual journey, reply to this message. I want to hear about it.
love + light
-- Ashley ✌🏻
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